well things at my work aren't working properly right now and that means i've got lots to keep me busy tonight. should i be tending to said troubles now instead of making this post...? probably but i've decided to use this time to allow someone, anyone to return my calls and/or emails. no point in doing everything before i hear back. i doubt i'll hear from them but might as well give them a chance. of course glen is in a tizzy about it and as long as he keeps the tizziness away from me, things will be fine and i won't have to kill him. two cheers for a murder free evening at work. that's not too much to ask, is it?
now...onto better things. the weekend, was a mixed bag of laughing so hard my face hurt and crying over something that caught me by surprise. celebrations were in order for the birthday of the wendals. gave a little money to charity in the mix of the party, one good deed down. the party was small but the tunes were good. it's too bad the venue was in such bad shape but there should be something for a place in the middle of downtown toronto managing to smell like a barn. the second part of birthday-ness was a weird mix of being turned down for a table in chinatown and liz freaking out over being the old lady in masterpiece. i'm happy to say good, definitely won over the bad. it felt great to hang out with some people who i haven't seen in a bit and have laughs were you get a headache and can't catch your breath. total foolishness. it was wonderful.
jon and i decided to use sunday for apartment viewings. they sucked. plain and simple....but in the suckiness i realized what i didn't want. i don't want to move into another rental. i don't want to pay money to someone else and in the end, we're left with nothing. in the mix of thinking about what we're going to do in regards to working towards getting a mortgage and deciding on where to look some of my old insecurities found their way to the surface. it caught me off guard and weirded me out. i thought i had moved on and was over it but i guess not. it was slightly embarrassing to have jon see me in such a state. i felt silly and a bit scared that he would do what i fear most. with my mind much clearer now i can see that he dealt with it in a way that surprised me but also not so much. while we were talking, i was reminded of why he's so great and why we make sense. i'd be lost without him and the quality of my life is now leaps and bounds above what it was before we met. with the support and advice from him i'm making an effort to deal with those old wounds and working towards giving myself an outlet to help me to move on,
really move on. it's best to put my energy towards the good instead of using it to hide the bad.
so now begins the next step....officially finding us a new place to live. being a homeowner. i have no idea what i'm doing but that's ok. it's a learning process and i'm not alone. knowing that jon is going to be right by side is a massive relief. having my folks, his folks and some friends at our disposal is also a huge comfort. bring it on bitches because i'm ready to decorate our non-existent condo!!!
my desk was being overrun by stray papers, envelopes and the like.
